Everyone needs to know The Rules! Here they are, so there won't be any arguing. Did I forget any? Send me a polite note to Ask Mail, 70 East Washington Street, Suite 300, Chicago, Illinois, 60601, or email.
Thank you ever so much!
-- Plush Pottom, Grand High Keeper of the Rules
Don't be mean!
If you want to know, Ask!
Or look it up in a book. --Whatson
No stealing food, that means you, Rats! --Anna
No free hits.
Don't always follow The Rules! --Michael D.
Take only what you need.
Ask before you borrow things.
Always share the cupcakes!
Don't forget to floss.
Wipe your feet when you come in.
Always be clean and tidy.
Cover your mouth when you sneeze.
Remember to say please and thank you.
Don't set pets loose in the wild--they don't belong there!
Never go to sleep angry.
Look out for kids littler than you.
Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, and Refuse to have too much stuff!
If you take it out, put it away.
Or hide it under the sofa. --Elvis
If you break something, fix it.
Or use the parts to make inventions. --Marvin
The cat is not a toy! --The Cat
If you pretend to be sick to get out of school, you'll get sick for real during vacatiion.
Always leave a place looking better than you found it.
No biking or skateboarding without a helmet.
No playing ball inside the house.
No spitting off the roof.
No spitting spitballs through me. --Bone Pony
No spitting, period!! --Plush
No blowing bubbles in class (unless you have enough for everyone).
If one person cuts the slices, the other person chooses first. --Zia
Share the toys! I don’t have any pockets. --Elvis
No shouting at the Opera.
No playing jump rope with the snakes at the zoo.
What comes up must come down.
To unscrew things, remember: Lefty loosy, righty tighty.
No launching rockets from the roof unless you get permission from all the neighbors and NASA.
No snowboarding down the hall stairs. --Plush
Unless you really, really want to. --Marvin
And Marvin is always right. --Marvin
Marvin! Stop writing in the Rule Book! --Plush
No making up your own rules. --Plush
No going faster than light. --Einstein
No advertising! --Everyone
No going into my tree without asking. --Avery
I asked myself, and I said it was OK. --Marvin
No keeping worms in the washing machine.
No scaring grandma.
No practical jokes before 7 am.
Think before you speak.
Never eat anything bigger than your head. --Zia
No tasting things in the grocery store.
Do not feed marshmallows to the gerbil. --The Gerbil
Only make up rules you are willing to obey. --Bone Pony
For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. --Isaac Newton’s Third Rule
Heat is work and work is heat. --First Rule of Thermodynamics